Grief – and the Resolve to Save Our World

November 6th, 2018 · 18 Comments · Be a Mindful Activist

This past two weeks in America have been an especially dark chapter of violence and hatred in a society already dealing with a foreboding sense that deep divisions are on some irreversible course in the United States. Today, on Election Day, we are, hopefully, taking positive, peaceful steps in our democracy.

In a suburban area of Louisville, Ky., last week, African-American families buried two of their beloved members, each shot to death while shopping on Wednesday, Oct. 24, at a Kroger supermarket. A white male gunman targeted them, not too long after he had tried but failed to get into the predominantly black First Baptist church in the suburb of Jeffersontown, according to law enforcement authorities. He shot Maurice Stallard and Vickie Lee Jones, neither of whom he knew personally. Federal authorities are weighing whether to charge the suspect with committing a hate crime. Police say the gunman shot Stallard, 69, as he shopped with his 12-year-old grandson for poster board, according to the Courier-Journal of Louisville. Jones, 67, had moved to Jeffersontown to be safe. Both families are suffering the incalculable depth of pain in losing a beloved one to violence.

In Pittsburgh, the families and community of the Tree of Life Synagogue are dealing with this pain and horror that happened during the same week. On Oct. 27, a man walked into the temple during shabbat, opened fire, and killed 11 synagogue members who were worshipping. The gunman had become more radicalized and disturbed in recent years, posting online rants against refugees and Jewish people at a site that white nationalists favor. His last posts were full of disdain toward the migrants in the caravan from Central American countries. He expressed vitriol toward the Hebrew Aid Immigrant Society (HAIS), accusing the group of bringing “invaders in that kill our people,” an unfounded conspiracy theory.

Even more distressing is the larger national connection and its implications. Though the suspect expressed reservations about President Donald Trump, his agitation and inflammatory speech mirrored the fear-mongering statements the President and right-wing outlets have repeatedly made about the immigrant caravan as “invaders.” The senseless, horrific tragedy struck at the heart of this synagogue, the historic Squirrel Hill neighborhood, and the Pittsburgh region.

These terrible incidents were on the heels of a bomb plot two weeks ago in which authorities arrested and charged a Florida man with mailing improvised explosive devices to a large group of Democratic Party leaders and supporters. The suspect, who has a long criminal record, is a self-proclaimed Trump supporter. The pipe bombs were addressed to former President Barack Obama, former Vice President Joe Biden, 2016 Presidential candidate and ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Congresswoman Maxine Waters, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper; billionaire philanthropist and party donor George Soros, and others. In all, authorities recovered 14 suspicious packages, ABC News reported. The people to whom the alleged plotter sent the mail bombs have all been the subject of Trump’s many negative, often-demeaning verbal attacks, on Twitter and at his rallies.

This is no less than a crossroads of confronting the rising threat of destruction against our nation, our humanity, and planet. Make no doubt about it, these are linked. What can we do? Vote. Speak and act civilly. Draw on history and the legacy and courage of those who faced down these threats before us. Take action in concert for love and against hate, degradation, and destruction. Let your life speak each day for this effort, to magnify light, not the forces of darkness, hate, and greed.

My roots are in the Pittsburgh area, having grown up some 40 miles north of the city in the small town of Wampum. My love of and connection with Pittsburgh have shaped me and continue to influence who I am. The city of warm, big-hearted and resilient people has poured out its love for the Tree of Life Synagogue. My heart and being have been with those from the temple since their family and friends were gunned down. The victims lost their lives while in the middle of one of humankind’s most elevating acts: coming together in worship in what should be a safe refuge.

Since that day, thinking and reflecting prayerfully about the synagogue, I have felt grief, welling up in sobs, and a disheartenment that questions whether the United States and world are veering into what Germany became in the 1930s. The synagogue attack is believed to be the deadliest against Jewish Americans ever in the United States.

So, too, have I held in my heart the dear ones of the two Americans whom a man killed in Kentucky, apparently simply because of the color of their skin. They were gunned down while shopping, each of them a grandparent, parent, good friend, and well-regarded community member. What of that grandson who saw his grandfather murdered as they together were doing a sweet, simple activity for school? What horrible, painful lesson of life shattered his reality that day?

Seeding Hate and Chaos

These are shocking incidents. Yet, they are not surprising in a nation witnessing a growth in the corrosive menace of hate speech that is fed and sustained in online groups and social media and then coupled with disturbed men owning an arsenal of guns. As Mark Hetfield of HIAS said, “Hateful speech almost always leads to hateful actions.” Ultimately, the demons of human hatred, racism, immigrant scapegoating, and violence have been emboldened and are flourishing.

None of this is new. Human history has been darkened by such violence, and no discussion should ignore that much, too much killing happens in domestic violence that predominantly kills women. However, when have we had a President who encouraged the very forces that result in mass shootings, plots, and other violence? We cannot look to Donald Trump to change his own hateful, bigoted, fear-mongering language. If anything, it has become heightened and manic, bringing Trump the attention he craves. Pair this with his disregard for Constitutional norms, and it becomes a worrisome recipe for a highly diminished civil society.

Many have witnessed this behavior not just from the time of Trump’s initial candidacy but over decades. Now many others recognize it and call it out. He will not change. But America must change and act to place checks and ultimately bring about the defeat of Trump and Trumpism, especially as the Republican Party has shown no character to be a check or decry this dangerous behavior.

His discourse has been marked by an appeal to us-versus-them resentments, a repetitive language that wantonly throws sparks out to the willing and ready-to-be-incited in society. Trump cavalierly called himself a “nationalist,” caring not one whit – in fact, welcoming the implications and consequences of this speech. He has repeatedly mocked the press as “the enemy of the people.” He has disregarded the enshrinement of freedom of the press in the U.S. Constitution. Throughout the world, right-wing dictators have cited Trump’s model as they have sanctioned attacks or jailed reporters and correspondents.

Trump, I pray, represents the peak of this demagogic and race-batting leadership, one that should be relegated as it deserves to the dark chapters of history. Yet he is a symptom of a rot that has been building for decades.

We must remember that as a nation and world, we have never advanced by dividing and conquering. We advance by an individual and collective action toward the best elements of human nature – peace, dignity, tolerance, judgment, an embrace of that which is most sacred within our spirits, and love of our common humanity. Our connection to nature and animals is vital as well, and it is too often lost in our consumer world.

The Earth, though climate change and its threat to our existence and planet, will soon test our ability to come together. It will demand that we go beyond our labels, limiting beliefs, divisions, and closed groups. We won’t survive as a species unless we do. The Earth is and will become even more our teacher. When we nurture, our politics will be shaped even more so by nurturance. The survival of human civilization demands no less of us. We owe this to our children, grandchildren, and all who come after us.

Previous Posts: The Trump Presidency and Campaign

Could Trump Start a War? Speak Up

The Power of Facts in the Time of Trump

Trump’s Danger, Hillary’s Challenge

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18 Comments so far ↓

  • Bob Stover

    Thank you for speaking up.

    • Susan DeMark

      Bob,

      Thank you for affirming my doing so. We are guardians of our democracy. While our government is far from perfect, our Constitutional protections and the rule of law are under a greater threat from this President than any I have seen in my life. We’re fortunate enough to be able to speak up, right?

      All the best,
      Susan

      • Bob Stover

        Indeed, we are fortunate. When you see the rise of authoritarian governments in Eastern Europe and Italy, it makes you wonder if we’re on that same road.

        • Susan DeMark

          Bob,

          Yes, that is so true. I’ve been following the developments in Eastern Europe, and it is very worrisome what is taking place in Hungary and Poland, as just two examples. As the Center for American Progress recently observed, far-right parties have made gains in 15 of the 27 EU member countries in the past two election cycles. Then, one sees how this U.S. President was very, very positive in his congratulations of Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro, the right-wing populist, in his victory. The world is at a very precarious time, and as this happens, the United States is, if anything, ceding any leadership role in the defense of freedom. I am not naive about our flaws in this regard in recent decades, but Trump’s admiration of authoritarian rule is on a whole different, horrible level.

          • Bob Stover

            World War II survivors in Italy and Germany will tell you that the Nazi Party and Mussolini’s Fascists took over gradually so that their own citizens did not see what was happening until it was too late.

          • Susan DeMark

            Yes, Bob, the understanding of how Fascism and Nazism took over in those nations is so crucial for our societies worldwide today. I have never been one to think it cannot happen here.

            I will never forget a book I read in my graduate history studies, The Nazi Seizure of Power by William Sheridan Allen. It truly deepened my thinking about this, as it traces through the prism of one single town – Northeim, Germany – how the Nazi dictatorship insidiously and surely took over by drawing local support, making use of organizations in the town, and exacerbating class divisions. (You may know of or have read this book.) I’ve been thinking lately how I would like to go back to it, as it could help in enhancing my thinking and awareness about our current challenges. Allen did such meticulous research, and I found his book quite enlightening.

            It’s also key to remember those who resisted in various ways and/or fled. I am thinking of how moved I was (and how I continue to be inspired) by the life story of Corrie ten Boom and her family, Dutch watchmakers in Amsterdam, Netherlands, who established a refuge in their home and helped many Jews escape, despite their increasing danger after the Nazi invasion.

          • Bob Stover

            I have just put the book on my Amazon wish list. I have not read it, but it sounds like a very worthy read. I am assembling a wish list in anticipation of reaching full retirement age next August. I hope to become a voracious reader and thinker about how to change the world into a better place for my children and grandchildren. My wife and I are also contemplating becoming voluntarily homeless and becoming mobile citizens living and traveling throughout our country in an RV. Part of healing our divisions will be getting to know and really understand those whose thought processes seem so alien to me.

          • Susan DeMark

            Bob,

            Those are incredible objectives that you and your wife are contemplating, informed by vision, and quite thoughtful! So much division is shaped by being in different silos of experience and getting information from only certain sources. I can be as guilty of this as the next person, and I will admit to not understanding some thinking and attitudes right now. That said, some universal truths and important values in our nation and world exist, such as the dangers of hate speech and the need to safeguard press freedom. Travel really does open those pathways of understanding human experience, if one is open to it and can do it. And books are marvelous for this, too.

            I was thinking today that even when it serves a purpose and seems apt, I don’t like the terms of red state and blue state. Wow, that would be something to travel through the country in an RV and talk with folks, etc. Keep me posted! Even if one does it in smaller ways, there is an openness to such travel that is very rewarding.

            One critical foundation of life that many share across divisions is a love of children and grandchildren, and our desires to make a better world for them!

            By the way, I am thinking that I don’t recall how readable that book by William Sheridan Allen was, though I did readily complete it for my class at the time. I am definitely going to get a copy as well.

            Corrie ten Boom’s memoir, The Hiding Place, is excellent, painful in parts, and moving. I was struck by how she and her family stuck with very human, comforting rituals – music was one, I seem to recall, in the midst of an ever-increasing level of inhumanity around them.

          • Bob Stover

            Thanks for your positive feedback on our future retirement plans. In my life, I was raised in NJ, went into the Air Force right out of school, lived in Texas for two years in the A.F. Then ended up in Beaver Falls at Geneva College and met my now wife, married and raised a family. We lived mostly in Pittsburgh after 1982. I worked in a steel mill for four years right out of college and then went to paralegal school after the mill closed. The paralegal jobs were quite new at that time and the only jobs were in the City at that time. Then I moved to Philadelphia after being let go at an insurance company in 2007. My parents were getting older and needed help, so it made sense, as our own children were grown on their own.

            To make a long story short, I hate what has been happening to our country since Trump was elected, but more importantly, I’m dismayed by how easily I have fallen into tribalism. My many experiences in life have taught me that people are much more complex than simple labels and that simplistic thinking about others’ motives is almost always incomplete or flat-out wrong. People’s thoughts and attitudes are often complex and nuanced, influenced by their own life’s experiences. In my experience, fear and insecurity are the most powerful motivators of political persuasion, and some are better than others at exploiting both. I look forward to once again rubbing elbows with people from all walks of life and trying to regain some perspective on the world and our country.

  • Colleen M

    Glad there are people in the world like you!

  • Kathy O.

    I have been trying to wrap my brain around all this hate and cruelty to our fellow human beings. Hatred and ignorance have been in this country for as long as it existed, yet cooler heads in leadership have worked toward changing mindsets. Yet today’s `leadership’ embraces it and encourages it. I encourage everyone to call every senator – in every state (as I continue to do) – and let them know that standing by such a bigot in the White House will not win.

    If anything, this election (no matter what the king of denial will lead his followers to believe) should be a wake-up call to those senators and representatives in Congress that the `silent majority’ – comprised of decent human beings – will prevail. I am a firm believer that the cream will always rise to the top. We are hopefully on our way to respecting our fellow human beings, our beloved Constitution, and the law once again. Remember, the Constitution begins with the following words: “We the People…”

    Don’t wait for another election: Call your Congress men and women – call those who are in power – regardless of where you live. You can get a full list of them at https://www.senate.gov/ (for senators) – and https://www.house.gov/ for the House of Representatives.

    For the “White” house – https://www.whitehouse.gov/

    Don’t sit still. Don’t become complacent. Doing nothing is NOT an option.

    Peace

    • Susan DeMark

      Kathy,

      This is so well-said, and inspiring! It affirms how important it is that we do speak up on behalf of the Constitution, the rule of law, and tolerance and love of our fellow human beings. Thank you for recommending the links, too – our voices and our participation matter, one by one by one. We saw this in the Nov. 6 midterm election.

      It is hard to watch so many leaders and representatives of the President’s party, the GOP, stand by silently, while Donald Trump has lessened the dignity of the office and threatened the checks and balances so important to our government. Some have spoken up, while others have left the Republican Party. But the acquiescence of so many is startling and disturbing, and it needs to be called out – as in letters and calls to our representatives, for one.

      One lesson out of this difficult chapter: Progress doesn’t proceed in a straight line. Emboldened by a President who engages in hate speech, the promulgation of lies and stereotyping, and consistent bullying, we are witnessing a time of increased dark, reactionary, and hateful forces. This cannot be laid entirely at this President’s feet, but he has played a role, to be sure. I am upset at seeing occurrences that, frankly, make me think of the dark parts of history during the 1920s and 1930s (as well as earlier time periods).

      I so appreciate your call to continuing citizen action!

      Thank you!

      Susan

  • Kathy O.

    Hi Susan,

    I am so impressed by how well you educate us while giving us all hope for the future. If any of your readers value: breathing; respect for our planet (where we will still have the ability to see trees and wildlife, and partake in clean water); living in freedom; respecting your fellow man; respecting the rule of law; belief in the beauty of safe harbor for all those who seek a better life; hope for your children and grandchildren’s future; honoring our military – both present and those who have been maimed, challenged, or who made the ultimate sacrifice to help preserve the beauty of America, then for heaven’s sake mobilize – not with violence or hate – but with respectful indignation through voicing that which is important to you.

    Thank you again for this platform Susan – you are one amazing lady.

    • Susan DeMark

      Kathy,

      Thank you! I am grateful for your response – more than I can articulate adequately!

      In fact, what you write here is amazing, in the ways it so encapsulates – in one paragraph – what it means to cherish America, our Earth, and each other as stewards of the gifts of life, family, and nature. I feel this very strongly in what we owe both our ancestors and our future grandchildren.

      I am going to keep what you wrote as a signpost. It captures so fully all that is at stake — what we hold so dearly.

      Again, thank you, my friend!

      Susan

  • Kathy O.

    I am very humbled by your very kind comments. I keep looking for my magic wand to fix all of this, but as of this writing it is still hiding somewhere in my chest of drawers of dreams.

    Peace to you, dear Susan, and for your incredible ability to preserve faith, hope, and even concrete buildings of the past.

    • Susan DeMark

      Let me know if you find that wand!

      I know that it indicates a desire to address so much that is troubling right now. Actually, the wand is the inner light that flows out from each of us who speak and work for justice and healing in our world.

      I think of those in Pittsburgh who have come together in unity after the horrendous and tragic synagogue massacre in October. In the midst of the increased hate speech, violence, and intolerance of these times, we are seeing a rising up of activism, solidarity, peaceful resistance, and incredible investigative reporting.

      I am sharing a beautiful story that reflects what is best in humanity, showing this resilience in dark times. In the News and Observer of Raleigh, N.C., Rabbi Eric Solomon wrote of the very real fear and disheartenment his congregants have been feeling as Hanukkah approaches, in the aftermath of the massacre at the Pittsburgh synagogue.

      Yet, he found an answer in the response of the Raleigh community around him. Immediately following what occurred in Pittsburgh, more than 1,100 Raleigh area residents, clergy, and officials participated in the vigil of solidarity his temple, Beth Meyer Synagogue, held. Many others offered prayers and sent flowers and cards.

      The rabbi drew a very fitting analogy to one of Hanukkah’s customs. A hanukkiah is only acceptable for use if its eight candles are all on the same level, he noted. The one exception is the “helper candle,” the “shamash, a ninth whose job is to kindle all of the others.”

      The human beings who have expressed their love and solidarity with the Jewish community became the “helper candles,” Rabbi Solomon observed.

      I find that very inspiring. So I would say, Kathy, that you have the essences of a “helper candle.”

      Thank you again for your own kindness!

      Susan

      • Kathy O.

        I am rendered speechless. After that horrific event in Pennsylvania, I reached out to the folks at the Tree of Life. I sent a meager donation, but the greater gift I gave (in my humble opinion) was a homemade card – with 11 handmade paper butterflies to symbolize the lives lost. The card was all white with a hint of blue and and pink on each butterfly to mark the men and women lost. I would send you a picture of it, but I scanned it in to my ancient scanner and the image in and of itself is not representative of the card. It looks like a gray white blur (sigh). I haven’t heard from them, but their pain is our pain; their loss, our loss; and the Rabbi’s words bring comfort to us all.

        Mazel Tov to you, dear Susan… You are a mensch!

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